Me too.
Then I started hearing warnings against listening to the voices of pilug popping up.
Pilug/פילוג means "a rift." "Split." "Schism." "Division." "Divisiveness."
This immediately flashed a red warning light in my head.
Many of the voices exhorting against pilug came from the secular Left.
Many also came from traditional-secular celebrities and media personalities who, while not strictly Left, hold Liberal positions on every issue and strive to mince along the tightrope between their "lite" Jewish identity and finding favor in the eyes of the radical Liberal non-Jewish world.
Particularly with the anti-Torah Left, I wondered why they suddenly felt so strongly about any kind of pilug.
After all, the rifts in Israeli society overwhelming came from them.
They acted like an all-encompassing black hole, trying to suck in every last thinking citizen, while vehemently condemning anyone who tried to resist the force of their vacuum.
They were the ones who, all over social media, derided as a "rag" the exquisite white satin hair-covering of a beautiful former actress who'd decided to become completely shomer Torah v'mitzvot.
They were the ones who held massive hostile demonstrations, burning tires and disrupting life for everyone else, when they realized the majority of the Israeli public no longer tolerated their stomping all over Torah values and their molly-coddling of Jew-murdering terrorists.
Like an out-of-tune violin playing a familiar sonata, their calls to end pilug didn't sound right.
Achdut Starts at Home – Or At Least, It SHOULD Start at Home...
But when they gave examples of that goodness, they tended to showcase secular Jews who devoted themselves to helping Muslim-Arabs in Gaza — despite the large numbers of Jewish children in Eretz Yisrael who also needed of some kind of assistance.
Also, I kept coming across news articles about that Shabbat/Simchat Torah that went like this:
I went to spend the night at my partner's home on Friday while my ex-husband was with his partner at their house. We left the kids at my house because, you know, they're teenagers; they're big enough to manage by themselves, and it's the weekend.
This is confusing to read and even more confusing in Hebrew, which uses terms like "my gerush [divorcé]" and "my ben zug" and "the bat zug of my gerush," and so on.
Of course, frum people also get divorced and remarried, but these people were divorced and not remarried.
And even the ones who were actually remarried, it surprised me how common divorce is by them.
It also surprised me to come across so many interviews and articles presenting the above as a common and acceptable way of life in these secular Leftist kibbutzim.
Additionally, I kept coming across phrases like "my ex-husband's wife, but we all get along," and so on.
And I was like, All these people of supreme goodness and altruism — who can't even stay married long enough to raise their kids together. Who are they to start blabbing against causing "a rift"?
This doesn't even begin to cover the hints at the intermarriages conveyed in these articles.
Not everyone was divorced and remarried or re-partnered, but it was a lot, especially considering how everyone sees themselves so lovely and easy-going and "we all get along."
And also considering the fact many of these divorced couples had 2 or 3 kids.
If everyone is so selfless and gets along so well, can't they stay together for the sake of the kids?
Another aspect everyone tries to tone down is the dissent and gossip common in kibbutzim.
This is a well-known characteristic in Israel. The bickering among fellow kibbutznikim is an accepted fact and the source of many jokes.
It could be there are a couple of secular kibbutzim who lack this quality, but that's more likely out of uniformity of belief, rather than the ability to work out issues.
(Meaning, if everyone thinks more or less the same and holds more or less the same values, what is there to disagree about?)
Listen Here, Torah Jews, You Better Not be Causing Any Rifts against OUR Way of Life!
Whenever the frum interviewer asked the secular Leftist what they think needs to happen now in society, the Leftist leaned forward, eyes boring into the eyes of the frum interviewer, and said, "We need to stop with all the pilug — on BOTH sides. BOTH sides need to stop the pilug. The pilug was coming from BOTH sides and BOTH sides need to stop engaging in pilug."
(That didn't always happen, but it did happen several times.)
I found their emphasis on BOTH sides concerning because, as stated above, the majority of rifts and dissension have always emanated from their side.
Yes, there are unnecessarily divisive frum people, but both my personal experience on all sides of the equation, plus what appears in the media, proves the main and most destructive pilug always came and continues to come from the secular Left.
I saw they still refuse to take responsibility for their part in the former pilug.
Not only that, the way their eyes bored into the eyes of the frum interviewer as they enunciated "BOTH sides" looked more like an accusation or "you better do this or else!", rather than a plea for unity.
Meaning, they want to make darned sure the religious (including the secular-traditional yet pro-Torah) faction know their place and not dare cause any rifts — no matter what the secular Left do.
And I saw that despite everything, the secular Left remained as it always was:
"WE are RIGHT and you had BETTER listen to US!"
Except that now they've gone back to considering the Arabs their enemy — which means we're right back to where we started with the early days of the Medinah, which fell into the hands of anti-Torah Commies like Ben-Gurion, the Haganah leaders, and then Golda Meir.
Don't Fall for the Manipulations of the Real Meaning behind Achdut and Pilug!
I know many of these people being interviewed suffered horribly on Simchat Torah. They endured hours of literal Gehinnom, either on the scene or from afar as they worried about their loved ones trapped in the attack.
But most have not changed their destructive views (except with regard to the Arabs).
Yes, they suffered and still suffer from serious trauma and loss on all levels.
That doesn't mean they should be deciding policy or even influencing policy.
Unfortunately, some religious Jews in all segments (charedi, dati-leumi, etc.) are swallowing this.
That's why I'm writing this post.
Don't let yourself be manipulated!
By standing firm on Torah values (which include lovely ideals like compassion, tzedakah, loving-kindness, judging favorably, humility, etc.), YOU are NOT causing any rift!
People who OPPOSE Torah values are the ones causing pilug!
A person who upholds Torah values cannot stand by while their taxes enable the state and the army to sponsor the abortions of unborn Jewish babies.
Such a person cannot tolerate laws allowing intermarriage (another destruction of the Jewish people) and same-gender unions.
An person committed to Torah values cannot simply allow the state to spend OUR money to trample basic Torah values by creating treif venues, or facilitating Sabbath desecration and intermarriage.
In addition to the fact that Jewish sins cause the Land to "vomit out her inhabitants" (as stated outright in the Torah) via natural disasters and violent acts of Jew-hatred, the secular Left actively promotes attitudes which directly cause the deaths and injury of thousands of Jews (and non-Jews too).
(For more details about how they do that, please see: the-truth-behind-the-5-year-shalit-phase-release-exchange-plus-who-really-called-the-shots-during-that-time-you-wont-believe-who-to-what-extent.html and former-prison-director-betty-lahat-shatters-the-lies-fed-to-us-regarding-terrorists-prison-conditions-for-terrorists-humanitarian-assistance-and-the-complicity-of-the-media-and-officials-in-the-intensification-of-terror-against-jews.html.)
How can we tolerate all that for the sake of avoiding pilug?
We can't.
To tolerate such immorality and death is cruel.
And we are a Nation of kindness.
(Please note: One extremely admirable & awe-inspiring kibbutznik used his horrific experienced to discover the harsh Torah truth and start his path to teshuvah: why-isnt-anyone-pointing-out-how-the-terrorists-from-gaza-committed-atrocities-against-the-very-jews-who-devoted-their-hearts-and-souls-to-the-gazan-arabs-and-what-can-we-learn-from-this.html)
Holy & Beneficial Division
I read transcripts of Rav Avigdor Miller's lectures every day.
I often read Torah thoughts from classic mussar books, Tanach, or Gedolei Mussar (as found in Bitachon Weekly or the books based on Rav Yaakov Galinsky's lecuters called Higadeta.)
One of the fundamentals of Judaism is that of avoidance.
Separation.
In the very first chapter of Tehillim/Psalms, David Hamelech seeks to warn us against associating with people who, by virtue of their lower nature, might pull us down.
Pirkeh Avot warns us against a shachen ra — a harmful neighbor.
All the mussar sefarim, in addition to encouraging us to love others and help in every way possible, likewise warn us against associating with the wrong types of people.
Even Rav Avraham Yitzchak Kook, who excelled in loving Hashem, loving all of Hashem's creations, and loving every Jew — even the ones who opposed him the most — published the following while still serving as rav in the Russian city of Boisk (boldface & underline my own addition):
As long as Zionist leaders do not come actively closer to the observance of Torah and mitzvos...and take pride in the faith of Israel and relate to Hashem, God of Israel, this movement creates great moral evils, but we hope that matters will be rectified.
...The fundamental principle is that the love of our nation must be expressed through the love of Torah and mitzvos, since they are inseparable.
It is impossible under any circumstances to love any Jew who brazenly violates the laws of our holy Torah.
As long as we know that a brother and co-religionist of ours eats what is anathema to us, or desecrates the Shabbos and the festivals, the religious sentiments these acts violate make us unable to be real brothers and one nation, or to join together in eating and drinking or in any of the other activities of love and brotherhood.
The wound in too great, reaching to our very core, and it cannot be healed!
It is true, dear brothers, that there are those, even among our Torah leaders, who have, with difficulty, made themselves act with forbearance and generosity toward those who have cast off the yoke of Torah...they act this way to foster peace.
They hope that perhaps in this way, they will gradually draw the errant hearts back to Torah and mitzvos.
— Guardian of Jerusalem: The Life and Times of Rav Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld, page 352
He possessed tremendous idealism in the belief that working the Land of Eretz Yisrael would bring errant Jews back to Torah.
Many (maybe all?) of the religious Zionist movement consider him their spiritual founder.
Yet even the ever-hopeful tzaddik Rav Kook acknowledged that the willful transgressions of the secular Tziyonim make it impossible to join with them.
In other words, THEY are the cause of any pilug — not us.
Judging by Rav Kook's later actions in Eretz Yisrael, he became one of those Torah leaders who "made themselves act with forbearance and generosity toward those who have cast off the yoke of Torah" in the hope that he would "gradually draw the errant hearts back to Torah and mitzvos."
Yet at one point, Rav Kook told one of Rav Sonnenfeld's grandsons:
The reason I can associate with the Leftists and the irreligious is only because there is a tzaddik like Rav Chaim [meaning, Rav Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld] who stands and admonishes, chides and remonstrates — that is why I can draw close to them and draw them close to me.
But you should know, bochur'l, that if Rav Chaim did not do what he does or protest as strongly as he does — then I would have to do what he does and protest as strongly as he...
— Guardian of Jerusalem: The Life and Times of Rav Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld, pages 426-427
The Holy Heroism of the Hope Forum Families
- please-meet-the-mors-the-family-of-gaza-hostage-eitan-avraham-mor-and-one-of-the-families-willing-to-stand-strong-against-the-manipulations-of-hamas-the-erev-rav.html
- please-meet-the-heroic-ohrs-family-of-hostage-avinatan-ohr.html
Despicable media rags maligned these courageous and caring families by name.
In their own blind desperation to free their loved ones at all costs, other family members of other hostages cast painful and false accusations at these heroic families.
Yet these heroic families of hostages (as represented by the Hope Forum) convey compassion and understanding toward their defamers while still doing everything humanly possible to obtain freedom for their sons and for all hostages.
The Hope Forum families simply do not want any Jews murdered.
That's all.
In their eyes, no one needs to eventually suffer death or dismemberment in exchange for the release of their own sons (as happened in the wake of the release of 1200 brutal terrorist in exchange for the lone Gilad Shalit).
I think the Hope Forum families (which include the Mors, the Leibmans, and the Ohrs) are beyond amazing in their courage and integrity.
Not everyone agrees.
But frankly, I think it's an act of ugliness and cruelty to rake these families across the coals when they suffered and continue to suffer so much trauma since the Great Horror from Gaza, and their own sons still in Hamas captivity in Gaza under unknown conditions.
(I guess I'm not as nice or generous-hearted as they are. But because they're willing to sacrifice and suffer so much trauma for me and my family and my people so that we aren't murdered or maimed later by released terrorists, I feel compelled to stand up in my own little corner and defend them and their righteous position.)
When asked by Moran Corse about the beautiful word achdut/unity, Ditza Tirtza Ohr (mother of hostage Avinatan Ohr) answered:
It's a word which carries a lot of baggage from the Israeli public of recent years.
In my experience, it comes with this type of expectation:
"If you don't think like me, then you don't have the correct opinion. So keep quiet for the sake of achdut."
Because if you say your opinion, then you're being "divisive."
And I've felt a great deal of suppression in the name of this so-called "achdut."
So as far as I'm concerned, achdut is now a word with a negative connotation. It's no longer comfortable for me to use it.
— Interview in Hebrew for women only
It's true.
Even with regular secular Jews, accusations of being argumentative (when you were being so tentative and tactful) or ruining things or inconveniencing others or "not understanding" is often used to shut down any open discussions, and to quash the expression of Torah morality.
What's Lurking behind These Cries to Avoid Pilug?
The ideas of achdut and pilug being used to manipulate people?
Here is Rav Yechiel Michel Tuchachinski in Eretz Yisrael around the year 1915:
The unification idea has suddenly become popular...
The religious who sincerely pray "may all [of Yisrael] form one group," are portrayed as being opposed to unity.
In truth, however, this is not an argument over ideals.
Lurking behind the slogan of unifying the communities is actually the desire to conquer the community...
— Guardian of Jerusalem: The Life and Times of Rav Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld, page 363