https://bilvavi.net/english/be-yourself-0 Here are Rav Itamar Schwartz's words in full (copied from the above link): Droshos - Be Yourself "The Geulah will come when we don't copy others, but live from our own discovered truth." Quote from here:
bilvavi.net/english/be-yourself-0 From the Na'aleh newsletter for Parshat Re'eh, Rebbetzin Tziporah (Heller) Gottleib provides down-to-earth insight and targeted questions to help us get where we need to go (subheadings my own addition for easier reading): What Elul Gives Us That Other Months Don't Just to sum up, here are the prime questions to ask as you examine your life:
And when she advises not to be judgmental when deciding which events were important in your life at that time, I think it means you need to be honest about what you truly found important, and not what others consider important. For example, the twin sisters born to your family when you were 5 will be considered an important event by others, but maybe you experienced it as happening around you in a vague fog. Instead, perhaps the new shoes you received around that time seem much more important to you; you still retain memories of the shoes' details and how they made you feel. So don't judge the importance according to anyone's standards except your own. Growing up as girl in the Eighties, the surrounding culture beat into our heads the idea that we could behave and dress however we wanted. Any negative consequences were never considered the results of our behavior (though in private people understood otherwise). Outside of learning self-defense techniques, martial arts, or carrying a gun, there was nothing we could do to protect ourselves — nor did we need to, we were told. We had THE RIGHT. Yes, The Right to do whatever we wanted & go wherever we wanted & behave however we wanted...regardless of consequences. Not matter how much survival instinct and just plain common sense says otherwise, this was & continues to be the message to girls. But no one ever applies this kind of recklessness to any other situation. For example, driving with situational awareness through a safari during the day in a sturdy car is okay. It still involves some risk, yet many people do it with no negative consequences. But strolling through a safari on foot at night when predatory animals are awake and on the prowl? Not okay. Hello, good ol' common sense (with regard to 4-legged predators). And good-bye, common sense (with regard to 2-legged predators). (And yes, college campuses are rife with 2-legged predatory "animals" cruising the bars in search of drunk young females on their own. If you speak with those who answer the calls on college crises hotlines, you'll discover this is THE most common situation in which college females are violated.) Your Right to Cross at the Crosswalk However & Whenever You Want?Let’s look at another example:
The answer to all the above, of course, is YES. However, if you say: “I have the RIGHT to cover myself head to toe in black and cross on a crosswalk at night WITHOUT making sure drivers can actually see me AND WITHOUT checking for oncoming cars will stop...because crossing a crosswalk dressed however I want and at whatever moment I want is my RIGHT as a pedestrian” — then such an attitude could easily cause injury or death to the crossing pedestrian. Why? First of all, cars can’t see you. And most drivers WANT to see you. They don’t want to hit you. Second of all, there are dysfunctional drivers. There are drivers who are tired or stressed or distracted. There are reckless drivers who speed and don’t check for pedestrians at crosswalks. There are people driving while drunk or high. Regardless of your right as a pedestrian, common sense and the instinct for self-preservation tells you before crossing at a crosswalk, you must make sure that any oncoming cars are going to stop. For normal drivers, making sure you’re seen is enough. The moment they see you, they slow down and stop. But for dysfunctional drivers, you need more caution. Because you don’t know the drivers of the vehicles, you need to size up the situation before crossing the street. Is the car speeding? Is it driving erratically? Is it slowing? Does it seem like the driver can see you? Is the driver paying attention? If you want to cross while wearing all black at night, you need to take even more precautions, like wearing or holding something reflective or making double-sure there are no oncoming cars. And because drinking alcohol impairs you judgement, you need to pay extra attention (even ask for help) — even if you’re dressed in all-white and crossing in daylight. Why? Because the DRIVERS aren't reliable. If you're really drunk, maybe you shouldn't cross the street at all. Or maybe you should find a friend to walk or drive you home. Things You'll Never Hear People Say...Except to Girls & Women to Deny Them the Basic Right to Self-PreservationRegarding crossing streets, no one says stupid things like:
Right? We all recognize that, while a drunk or reckless driver is COMPLETELY at fault, it is in the pedestrians best interest (and SELF-interest) to take all precautions necessary BECAUSE of the risk of drunk, reckless, distracted, or tired drivers. Note: It should be acknowledged the above isn’t the perfect parallel because most drivers don’t mean to hit pedestrians, yet men who violate women generally mean to do it. But the mashal of how a person needs to protect herself — even when it’s her “right” to do as she pleases — still holds true. For example, even in the case of predatory animals actively looking for prey, the same precautions apply to a woman who wants to walk through a safari at night or to a woman walking down a street roamed by wild dogs. She simply should not do it. And if she finds herself in such a situation, she certainly should not go there drunk! Let's Encourage All Females to Conduct Themselves with the Same Self-Preserving Sensibility of Crossing a StreetSince its inception, feminism worked toward the dumbing-down of women and girls. It’s true that women today are more intellectual and sophisticated than ever before. But they aren’t as savvy. (I'm serious. Talk to simple women from non-Western cultures where women had few rights. They're much savvier, possess much more common sense.) Before the Seventies, women tended to handle situations with so much more common sense and wisdom. And now, you can talk to a woman with, for example, a doctorate in calculus, and she can turn out to me one of the dumbest, most illogical people you have ever talked to. (No, not always. And a lot of intellectual men are stupid twits, too. University professors in particular lack common sense. But this post focuses on the influence of the feminist movement on women, not men.) And unfortunately, there will always be bad and/or drunk men until Mashiach comes. And yes, it’s their fault if they hurt any female through their badness and drunkenness. And yes, they should be punished. But throwing young women into their path and brainwashing young woman against protecting themselves against such animals is outright cruel and heartless. |
Feedburner subscription no longer in operation. Sorry!
Myrtle Rising
I'm a middle-aged housewife and mother in Eretz Yisrael who likes to read and write a lot. Categories
All
Jewish InterestDaf Yomi Review Archives
January 2024
Copyright Notice
©2015-2024 Myrtle Rising |