How many times do condemning thoughts pop into our head?
Maybe we don’t even realize these thoughts are so unforgivingly judgmental.
And if the condemning thoughts are coming from a place of self-righteousness, we may not even classify them as negative (because self-righteousness FEELS so darn good).
And sure, maybe someone really is doing something wrong or inappropriate or irresponsible.
But still, why can’t we bless them in our head?
Why can't we wish them a better life & better mazal & better behavior?
Why can’t we think to ourselves, “Oh, Hashem, I hope that apparently misguided teenage girl discovers the joys of tsnius and finds a wonderful shidduch," rather than allowing ourselves to be engulfed with the thought, “Look what the world is coming to. Even when I was a secular zero-population-growth atheist, I NEVER dressed like THAT!”
Instead of mentally condemning another parent for irresponsible behavior, we can mentally wish for Hashem to protect their child, help that child to grow up well, and to imbue the parent with wisdom & common sense.
Sure, we can’t always stop the initial judgmental thought. (And like I said, maybe we shouldn’t if the person really is doing something problematic.)
But we can certainly direct the mind toward blessings and good wishes, even after that initial mental condemnation.
It genuinely helps them and we reap blessing too.
Rav Avigdor Miller on Why Hashem Rewards Good Wishes So Generously